Why I’m not friends with any trainers

So obviously I’ll probably sound like I’m stereotyping a bit here, but this article is a perfect summary of why I don’t really hang out with any “typical” Personal Trainers. You know the type, preach eating nothing but grilled chicken and broccoli, takes tons of pills and supplements (probably on steroids), unapproachable, take themselves way too seriously, etc. Well anyway when I saw this article today in my email I was dying laughing and automatically thought about them. Short and sweet read and really funny. And I’m sure all the typical trainers don’t think it’s funny at all. But life’s too short, it’s okay to laugh at yourself. I’ve also copied and pasted the article below in case this link ever dies. But click on his website anyway!



Exercising is not war.

Working out is not a bloody fight on a battlefield.

Exercising is not a live-action wildlife sequence in a jungle with a tiger and a gazelle and sharp teeth and blood and victory and defeat now we have to separate the men from the boys and the predator from the prey and suddenly lightning strikes and there’s fire everywhere and we’re doing pull-ups and box jumps at the gates of hell.


Exercise is great and healthy and good.


Lifting weights and running sprints does not make you a warrior, or a beast, or a lion among sheep, or a monster, or a gladiator, or some lone heroic character from dramatic apocalyptic Bible verses, or the super jacked guy from the movie300, or the famous MMA girl fighter everyone likes, or The Rock eating pancakes with all his veins popping out, or some monster in US military fatigues running through minefields throwing dumbbells at terrorist aliens with the American flag in the background and a bald eagle flying overhead and you’re somehow saving the world because you’re lifting some weights at a gym somewhere with earbuds in and Satan himself is pissing his pants because you’re doing CrossFit right in front of his fucking face…

…or anything else your shitty memes on Instagram say.

Exercise is not any of that stuff.

It’s just exercise.

You should still do it.



It’s not any of that stuff.